Foraging is teh hotness

Maybe I’ve been spending too much time studying the unified theory that organizes all of biology (as Mr. Karpf would say). Maybe as I’m getting older, I’m lapsing back into some pre-agrarian behavioral state. Or it could be natures way of telling me I need a hair cut.

But the other day between classes, as I was eating egg salad sandwiches out of my new yellow tiger lunch bag, a woman walked up to Washington Square Hall, and immediately thrust her arm into the wall of tree/shrubs along the building. She then gave a quick scan of a new section of bush/treething, and slid her hand along another branch to a certain point, and then broke it off. It took a moment to register, but I realized she was foraging . She was probably in her late 40s or early 50s, a touch over her probable BMI. She wore grey office pants (no pleat), and a dark redish/purpleish satiny business casual collard (though flat pressed) shirt. She wasn’t homeless, or if she was, she looked like she at least had a day job at city hall (across the street). She wasn’t the sort of female you’d typically find attracting the attention of college aged males. And yet for some reason, I found her attractive.

And then I had a revelation: foraging is hot. Go ahead, try this out for yourself. Go find some park and wait for someone to start foraging. It might be a homeless dude, or some really old chinese lady collecting the squashed fruits from those trees that smell like poop, but be patient. Or if you’re not patient, I think maybe you could try the grocery store. I bet it’s not the same, but maybe there’s some residual foraging. Anyway, get yourself into a situation where there’s a reasonable likelyhood of foraging. Oh, maybe take a trip to the Trobriand islands or the Amazon. Anyway, get yourself situated, and then watch. I bet you’ll find the activity strangely attractive to you. I’m sure it’s more psychological, but a part of me wonders if somewhere inside our brains, we still have an evaluation mechanism for selecting a mate. Hip:waist, breasts, these are things we’re familiar with through studies, but I wonder if foraging ability is one these evaluation criteria, it’s just that we rarely ever see it. I’m not saying I was sexually attracted to this woman, far from it. But something about the way she moved and gazed and exercised special knowledge, and executed with efficiency…. it was good.

Whatever it was, I think I’ve stumbled upon a latent metric of attractiveness. So remember the next time your out, and you see a nice looking girl who seems smart and good natured:
If she can’t forage, she’s not worth it… in the long run.

Am I wrong?
Am I wrong?
Ok then.